Interracial Dating: My Experience as a Black Woman

Growing up, as you’ve seen me mention multiple times, I was bullied all throughout Primary(elementary) school and junior high school. I was constantly told that I was ugly and picked on for being a foreigner. In my case, I was bullied by mostly young boys.

I’m hoping by now you can see where I’m heading with that back story.

As I grew into my teen years, I began to picture in my head what my future family would look like. At first, I pictured I would get married to a wonderful black man and have beautiful black kids.
You know that moment when you began to have crushes and admiring boys secretly in your head? I had that same exact moment when I was thirteen years old and I had just moved to Florida. As I sat in my Technology class on the first day of school, I glanced over my shoulder to see who my fellow classmates would be and saw a boy that looked slightly older than me. He had a dusty dark blonde hair, light brown eyes and very noticeable broad shoulders. I quickly turned back around when I saw his eyes lock with my eyes. At that exact moment, the pictures in my head of my future family changed instantly.

As I swiftly turned around, a girl with a slighter lighter complexion than me and long black hair, walked in and sat at a desk right behind me. She instantly began to make fun of the boy. As the semester went by, her jeers and constant attacks to the boy began to annoy me. Being bullied in the past, her comments started a fire inside of me. One day as she began her first comment towards him, I turned around angry as ever and practically yelled “stop bullying him, why don’t you pick on someone your own size.” She instantly turned her demeaning comments towards me and left the boy alone, but I just ignored her. At the end of the semester, she apologized to both me and the boy.

Fast forward to much later years when I joined in the dating scene, I began to realize that I was attracted to boys that were of the opposite ethnicity which all varied but never included a black boy. Now to clarify, I am mostly definitely not saying that black men are not attractive, they are all beautifully created by God. If were to take a wild guess as to why I’m not attracted to them, I would say it had something to do with my past and being bullied by mostly black boys that caused me to lose that attraction.

The struggles that I face as a black woman into interracial dating are very minimal but slightly degrading. Some men that I’ve met in the past would sometimes tell me ‘’oh I just want to find out what it’s like to be with black girl” and “oh I hear black women are freaks in the bed.” And most famous one of all, “I hear sex with black women are out of this world.” We’re treated as if we’re aliens and our body parts are the only thing that defines us.

Interracial Dating has come a long way and is now a norm in society but there are still some aspects of it that needs to change so that humans aren’t being degraded in the process.


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