How to truly love Someone

    In this day and age marriages don’t last anymore, casual dating/fwb are a thing, and loving someone else is viewed as a “burden” or “too much work”. Have we lost our desire and ability to truly love someone else? We all desire to have someone that loves us no matter what we do and to stand by  us through thick and thin.  In society today when things get hard, we dip because our fears, childhood traumas and insecurities make our decisions for us.  As I watched an episode of  Red TableTalk with Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, Justin Baldoni, and Wale, Jada said something  that immediately had me thinking. “When you believe that someone is constantly pissing you off or pushing your buttons, that is a chance for you to evaluate your fear and to work on yourself”. When we remove our fears and insecurities out of the equation, we can think much clearly and respond with love.

     So how do you truly love someone? By loving yourself first. Stop being so hard on yourself, embrace your flaws, allow yourself to make mistakes, speak words of affirmation to yourself, don’t allow satan to whisper lies in your head that may seem like the truth but isn’t, forgive yourself the minute you screw up, and never give up on yourself. Today we compare ourselves so much to unrealistic and fake personas that others portray on social media platforms. Others even compare us to other individuals which in turn makes us feel inferior. No two person is exactly the same, so why should they be compared. Accepting where you are in life and trusting in God that he has a plan for your life is a pretty darn good step to loving yourself and another person.

     Now to truly love someone is to love them unconditionally. No matter what they do, you will still love them. Unconditional love does not mean allowing someone to treat you like a doormat or encouraging bad behavior. Unconditional love is accepting the person “as is”, doing whatever is in the best interest of the person aka tough love, not passing judgements, choosing to stand by their side at their lowest point, and having no expectations. When we can first do these things for ourselves, it will easily transfer to another person.



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